I’ve always felt fiercely independent in academics. But senior year has started and I’m already trapped in a vicious cycle of homework-study-tests. Nothing’s a picnic anymore…although I knew what kind of abyss I was prepared to fall into by taking five AP classes.
I rarely ask for academic help from anyone. Frequently I give help to others, or more likely I keep to myself. But from the looks of it, for the first time in my life I have become that dreaded “damsel in distress.” In my intimidating gym class I cannot tie knots on ropes or properly put on the jumble of belts and harnesses to save my life. Literally – otherwise I’d fall off the terrifying, freakishly high climbing wall. It seems like I need some serious instruction from a knowledgeable guy who helped me yesterday, or else I’d likely fumble and fall off the wall and break a few bones. 
I knew that Computer Science wouldn’t be a breeze either, and I expected my class to cover much more difficult Java material than the (X)HTML, CSS, and PHP that I taught myself for five years. So far I’ve been able to create a face, a math calculation, a red cross, a bull’s eye, and a moving black box. I’ve only been able to accomplish the last three thanks to hints from the guy next to me. In Physics, I have three assigned lab partners – all of them guys. And being the Excel-inept person that I am, I had to get help from them concerning writing proper equations for my misaligned cells.
Ah…I’m a total failure. At least I became a National Merit Semifinalist…yay…but that doesn’t mean I have any common sense or practical smarts in the least.
Today was terribly rainy…suddenly I became everyone’s best friend to cross the street with, and my umbrella was showered with compliments (well, it does have a very pretty blue floral design, since it was quite expensive and bought in China, but my silly dad happened to vacuum off parts of the bottom handle when it was on the ground, grr).
Oh, and somehow I have a taller twin (similarly obsessed with dramas and wuxia and DBSK boys and hot actors) whose rhyming name gets mixed with mine a lot, as well as a long-time friend who is somehow now considered my short Hispanic twin. Great.
Also, new note to self – never get hooked onto those FictionPress stories. There are so few stories worth reading, but I also stumble upon the longest ones, and they are a wonderful marathon read – but also a major source of procrastination. Since I don’t ever get enough sleep, I’d better stop. But it never happens…it’s just like saying my love for Junsu and DBSK will die. NEVERRRR. Keep the faith, DBSK forever. <3